I love the idea that the big shocking moves require quiet to be heard. And then checked out a lot because seriously, if you are NOT a person who feels a little overwhelmed at being called to change the world… are you just wishful thinking that you’re right? I kind of want people to say “Who Me???” when they experience that a flaming shrubbery wants them to catalyze a policy change at the national level.
This is really beautiful and I love your interpretation. I'd like to add something.
Proceeding in spite of fear gets easier with practice.
I am an artist. In my youth, while I was going for my MFA, I literally starved. I lived on Halloween pumpkins, the parts of vegetables people throw away, food that had gone bad. When I graduated and could not find a teaching job, I struggled for a few years and with some help from family, went back to school for software engineering, got that degree, and worked for 25 years in the field.
Becoming an engineer was a violent thing to do to my brain because I had to cut off everything that was alive and think like a machine. It never got easy. I never fit in with the guys at any of my jobs — and it was almost all guys — never had friends, because I wasn't a natural engineer, because it was a no-girls-in-the-treehouse culture, and I had the sense they were just waiting for me to screw up so they could fire me. But I was good at what I did so they didn't have an excuse. And by definition, whatever you write as a software engineer is something you haven't done before, you are always inventing the wheel, and always the deadline is unreasonable, so every day at work was terrifying. First chakhra I will be fired and starve to death existential. I learned to ignore the terror, to press on and get the job done. I ignored terror for a living.
My mother said to me, "I could never do what you do." I said to her, "You could if you'd starved."
It was a stupid waste that I went through that for the profits of a few venture capitalists. Most of what I wrote, under terrible pressure, with crazy deadlines, even on my father's deathbed, never saw the light of day even though it worked. Most of the code that gets written in software companies is like that. Panicked busy work.
When I became an activist I used that skill, to ignore terror and press on. Which redeemed it.
When I read Rabbi Ruttenberg's parshah, I was reminded of the early Radiohead song lyrics "Wish that I were bulletproof." Because we all wish we were invulnerable. But our softness, the way we are not machines, is the best part of us. In the art world throughout the 20th century, the subtext of just about everything that went into art history was that looking at the work, the viewer would feel bulletproof. He could feel analytical and cold, or angry, or snide, but never could he be touched. This creeped me out. Art is primarily bought by the powerful, so what the art says validates the values and aspirations of the powerful. And the art says, "I don't care, ha ha, I laugh, I am invulnerable."
But then the art market went to the internet, and everything changed. The gatekeepers were marginalized and anyone could post. People all over the world, of all classes, saw work and decided they liked it before they saw who did it. Which meant that for the first time, the work of women and people of color was getting seen and appreciated. Which meant that alternative narratives, points of view, and approaches were getting disseminated. Which meant that suddenly the middle class started buying art again, at vastly reduced prices, but buying nonetheless. Which meant that suddenly, depth of meaning and vulnerability has been introduced back into the conversation.
Which meant that suddenly, there is more to value than being bulletproof. To proceed in life with our vulnerability intact, to proceed despite our fears, that is what real courage is, that is the best of us. Not to be machines, but to be wholly human, and to find the softness that needs to balance our hardness.
Art that celebrates depth and the sublime, that digs beneath the surface, is an insidious tool to encourage courage.
We all have to encourage courage every chance we get.
Thank you, Rabbi Ruttenberg, for your encouragement.
“We all have this idea, I think, that if God showed up one day to offer us a job, we’d feel pretty comfortable saying yes.”
I’ve had discussions based on this scenario with a lot of people (not a scientific sample). In the abstract, lots of people want to have a closer, unambiguous experience of Pure Being/Adonai/Ha Shem/God. But when we start to discuss this topic in detail, some of us, myself included, are more than willing to put off a theophany, at least for a little while. When I chose my Hebrew name יונה (Yonah), it was because I could fully relate to the idea of trying to run away if I ever experienced a theophany that included detailed instructions. The initial response of Moses to his theophany makes Moses more relatable, especially given that his first reaction to injustice was homicide. Wrestling with Pure Being/Adonai/Ha Shem/God is something that has certainly been an important part of my life.
All I can say, teacher, is that you've taken a man who is often, not always, ready to comment on subjects such as these (one with a degree with Philosophy, in fact - a bachelor's, not higher, but still) to more speechlessness.
That is so appreciated. You've silenced so many anxious questions in Judaism that I've had gaps in with just a few posts!
Despite being so very much Jewish by blood, my learning what it means to *be Jewish* by faith was so warped and challenged growing up into the present. This is a gift, perhaps even a divine one. So, words do this very little justice - but I really do appreciate all of this so deeply. Thank you, teacher. I call you that with the utmost affection and truth.
I'm just sitting here eagerly, waiting, listening for more...no pressure 😅.
I love the idea that the big shocking moves require quiet to be heard. And then checked out a lot because seriously, if you are NOT a person who feels a little overwhelmed at being called to change the world… are you just wishful thinking that you’re right? I kind of want people to say “Who Me???” when they experience that a flaming shrubbery wants them to catalyze a policy change at the national level.
I mean sometimes it does.
This is really beautiful and I love your interpretation. I'd like to add something.
Proceeding in spite of fear gets easier with practice.
I am an artist. In my youth, while I was going for my MFA, I literally starved. I lived on Halloween pumpkins, the parts of vegetables people throw away, food that had gone bad. When I graduated and could not find a teaching job, I struggled for a few years and with some help from family, went back to school for software engineering, got that degree, and worked for 25 years in the field.
Becoming an engineer was a violent thing to do to my brain because I had to cut off everything that was alive and think like a machine. It never got easy. I never fit in with the guys at any of my jobs — and it was almost all guys — never had friends, because I wasn't a natural engineer, because it was a no-girls-in-the-treehouse culture, and I had the sense they were just waiting for me to screw up so they could fire me. But I was good at what I did so they didn't have an excuse. And by definition, whatever you write as a software engineer is something you haven't done before, you are always inventing the wheel, and always the deadline is unreasonable, so every day at work was terrifying. First chakhra I will be fired and starve to death existential. I learned to ignore the terror, to press on and get the job done. I ignored terror for a living.
My mother said to me, "I could never do what you do." I said to her, "You could if you'd starved."
It was a stupid waste that I went through that for the profits of a few venture capitalists. Most of what I wrote, under terrible pressure, with crazy deadlines, even on my father's deathbed, never saw the light of day even though it worked. Most of the code that gets written in software companies is like that. Panicked busy work.
When I became an activist I used that skill, to ignore terror and press on. Which redeemed it.
When I read Rabbi Ruttenberg's parshah, I was reminded of the early Radiohead song lyrics "Wish that I were bulletproof." Because we all wish we were invulnerable. But our softness, the way we are not machines, is the best part of us. In the art world throughout the 20th century, the subtext of just about everything that went into art history was that looking at the work, the viewer would feel bulletproof. He could feel analytical and cold, or angry, or snide, but never could he be touched. This creeped me out. Art is primarily bought by the powerful, so what the art says validates the values and aspirations of the powerful. And the art says, "I don't care, ha ha, I laugh, I am invulnerable."
But then the art market went to the internet, and everything changed. The gatekeepers were marginalized and anyone could post. People all over the world, of all classes, saw work and decided they liked it before they saw who did it. Which meant that for the first time, the work of women and people of color was getting seen and appreciated. Which meant that alternative narratives, points of view, and approaches were getting disseminated. Which meant that suddenly the middle class started buying art again, at vastly reduced prices, but buying nonetheless. Which meant that suddenly, depth of meaning and vulnerability has been introduced back into the conversation.
Which meant that suddenly, there is more to value than being bulletproof. To proceed in life with our vulnerability intact, to proceed despite our fears, that is what real courage is, that is the best of us. Not to be machines, but to be wholly human, and to find the softness that needs to balance our hardness.
Art that celebrates depth and the sublime, that digs beneath the surface, is an insidious tool to encourage courage.
We all have to encourage courage every chance we get.
Thank you, Rabbi Ruttenberg, for your encouragement.
“We all have this idea, I think, that if God showed up one day to offer us a job, we’d feel pretty comfortable saying yes.”
I’ve had discussions based on this scenario with a lot of people (not a scientific sample). In the abstract, lots of people want to have a closer, unambiguous experience of Pure Being/Adonai/Ha Shem/God. But when we start to discuss this topic in detail, some of us, myself included, are more than willing to put off a theophany, at least for a little while. When I chose my Hebrew name יונה (Yonah), it was because I could fully relate to the idea of trying to run away if I ever experienced a theophany that included detailed instructions. The initial response of Moses to his theophany makes Moses more relatable, especially given that his first reaction to injustice was homicide. Wrestling with Pure Being/Adonai/Ha Shem/God is something that has certainly been an important part of my life.
All I can say, teacher, is that you've taken a man who is often, not always, ready to comment on subjects such as these (one with a degree with Philosophy, in fact - a bachelor's, not higher, but still) to more speechlessness.
That is so appreciated. You've silenced so many anxious questions in Judaism that I've had gaps in with just a few posts!
Despite being so very much Jewish by blood, my learning what it means to *be Jewish* by faith was so warped and challenged growing up into the present. This is a gift, perhaps even a divine one. So, words do this very little justice - but I really do appreciate all of this so deeply. Thank you, teacher. I call you that with the utmost affection and truth.
I'm just sitting here eagerly, waiting, listening for more...no pressure 😅.