A dear friend who is a rabbi and conducted our wedding told my wife and me about some parents that approached her about a bar mitzvah for their son. "We want him to have the experience, but we don't want him indoctrinated with all this stuff about God. We had enough of that in Hebrew school ourselves."
She asked calmly, "So, you want me to teach him that Judaism is an empty ritual the same as you learned it was?" And not realizing the irony, they agreed.
Thank you, Rabbi, for insisting that while there are plenty of kid-friendly activities in Jewish life, it's a tradition for grown-ups! Wrestling with the complexities is a very Jewish thing to do.
I love this so much. A few year ago, a friend said he felt a bit odd for celebrating for the reasons you struggled with. I had to let this be a time to remember not persecuting others as we were persecuted. A celebration as well as a reminder. I've almost always felt what you call an "adult faith" to have a place in Judaism.
This is actually helping me put together something from my childhood. Raised Catholic, so this time of year was always Advent for me, prepping for Christmas, etc. But this idea of "rededication" resonates a lot with me, especially right now in the middle of a few life changes. Taking in complicated history with an effort for redefinition really is the spirit of the celebration.
Thank you for this! Hannukah is deeply entrenched in my childhood, and I went through a period of "betrayed because it's ~really~ celebrating historical events that were violent" and also "confused because Hannukah is a minor holiday and am I ~appropriating~ because I haven't always been super Jewish" and it's complicated and thorny and there's no One Right Answer
(kind of like, er, life? and faith in general...)
But lighting Hannukah candles, and watching them, feels important, not because of history but because it's a reminder to myself to ... well, rededicate myself, in a way? And a reason to slow down.
Yes!! I love this. I've been trying to figure out how to coalesce my thoughts into a single simple comment and I can't do it - oy. I'll break it down into two one on adult faith and a separate on two-mindedness (on another aspect of Khanukkah the "minor" holiday vs "major" debate). Thanks for bearing with me.
So - adult faith and reckoning with the brutality of the real history of the Maccabees and their atrocities. I was delighted to read this on Monday after my Sunday Xanike party where I gave all my guests homework a week ahead of time and we leaned into a more in-depth discussion of the complicated history and the adult themes of Chanuqa. I decided that this year - instead of a papered over "for kids" or "empty ritual" (hat tip to Dennis ;) ) celebration we were going to get serious about the real themes of Hanukkah. Because it isn't about love and light - it's certainly not about peace or goodwill - it's about resistance. So that was our theme this year. I didn't frame it in terms of adult vs kids versions, but that's what we did. And it's been the most fulfilling season of Cchannukkahh I've had so far in my life. Because while it's not about empty love, light themes - doesn't mean it's not about hope. Because resistance *is* hope. It's the belief that the world can be better than it is and the willingness to fight for that better world.
For context - I was the only Jew in attendance so while we didn't paper over or ignore the atrocities committed by the Maccabees - we didn't engage too deeply into the details of that more intra-communal discussion that the articles Rabbi mentioned at the beginning dig into, because that's not the crowd for that. But we did talk about how the Maccabees weren't that great once we took power and how we need to reckon with the ways in which a lot of resistance stories in both history and fiction don't always get it right - that sometimes our fights against oppression, tyranny, erasure etc don't always result in making things better for everyone - yeah - we get it wrong - a lot actually. But - and I was so pleased that my guests went here without me (before I could - but yeah same page) - everytime we still move a little closer to a better world. And that's why resistance and resistance stories in fiction persist, abide, continue to matter. We march forward understanding that we won't get it right in our own lifetimes, but that we have to keep trying. "You are not obligated to complete the work - but neither are you free to abandon it" - Pirkei Avot.
Though the only Jewish person at the celebration - most of my loved ones attending have deeply relevant lived experiences of resistance to oppression, tyranny and those for whom it's not personal deeply love the rest of us and stand with us in our fight. It's a big intersectional group so it was deeply relevant especially now (in the last 5-10 years in America) for my guests who come at the subject from many axes of oppression to talk about our resistance stories. We talked about what things could be the miracle oil we need to fuel our resistance in the coming months/year and to allow us to rededicate ourselves to resistance and the fight for a better world. We talked about community care as this fuel - rest as resistance. One of my guests made this amazing point about community care that's so worth sharing - they talked about how a part of community care is praising people behind their backs, and how we need to do more of that. And fuck yeah we do.
Anyway - adult Honk was amazing and I am so glad we did it this year and that my loved ones leaned into it and made it relevant to all of us. So fulfilling and meaningful. My only regrets are that I didn't delegate the latke making well enough so I spent most of the night in the kitchen, but next year we'll fix that. :)
All my love, and a very very happy Xanuqa (yes- I'm on team chaos in terms of spelling - try to make sure I just don't spell it the same way twice lol) to all of you with thanks for indulging my long-winded ramblings. :) (part two - on the two-mindedness of the Minor vs major holiday debate to come after some rest).
And I thought it was just us Christians who struggle with growing up in our faith! Ha! I will use your article in my adult Bible study class as an example of our “two-mindedness.” Great writing!!
Thank you for this. I've been reading "Luminous Darkness" by Deborah Eden Tull, in which she talks about the power and beauty of darkness, not just light. She's commenting in a Buddhist context, but I think she has Jewish heritage as well. Your missive feels connected to that book; we can hold difficult facts and confusing experiences *at the same time* as the direct, clear, or more enjoyable ones. We can appreciate the darkest time of year (at least in the Northern Hemisphere) for its rest and renewal, while we find joy and strength in lighting Hanukkah candles. I think holding unsavory history next to a (more) jubilant present is perhaps the most tricky both-and truth, as we have no way to go back and change what happened. But, like you say, we can use it as an opportunity to recommit, reaffirm and rededicate to our best values.
Well this is illuminating. We Christians have it easy. All of our monumental ugliness takes place outside of our scripture. So we can sit safely in our New Testament and never have to confront the persecution, genocide and holocaust.
Love this article and was tracking very much with your relationship with Hanukah in your journey from childhood to adult faith but applying it to my own journey with the Advent story leading up to Christmas. There are alot of quaint things in my childhood scaffolding in the Advent story that I no longer believe (as literal history) but I love Advent. My rational brain sits in church and can’t believe people sitting around me take all the familiar parts of the story literally but I appreciate and enter into the perennial themes of longing/watching for the light and the honoring of a divine child which somehow still resonates deep within even though I no longer believe in the virgin birth and all the related parts of the story (as literal history) which pretty much everyone sitting in the church I attend still holds to. It is sort of funny having conversations with people who have not allowed their brains to entertain such thoughts. In a strange way during Advent, I feel both my childhood and adult faith in the same two-mindedness you describe—thank you for writing this! Glad I found your substack!
Dear Rabbi Ruttenberg, Thank you for the work that you do. I enjoyed this article very much. As a person who has benefitted from the generosity of people who have contributed to allow less financially fortunate to receive, I appreciate their generosity. AND I appreciate your hard work in providing these articles to ALL, including those who might misuse that generosity and hard work. For those of us who have integrity, ethics, and morals, it is hard to set aside the feelings associated with those values when it SEEMS that we might be lumped together with the group who abuse their privilege. May your work for justice, advocacy on all issues that make the world a better place continue and be successful. Edna F.Riley, Nevada, MO
These posts are so deep that it takes much thought to comment. The matters raised challenges us to deeper thoughts. To fall back a bit, the last post, Rilke poem, made me think of his word ‘terror’ of ‘God in the shadows’ and ‘temporary’. Rilke writes beautifully of sublime emotion but these terms are larger than that.
This brought to mind the thought of Kabbalah, the ‘Left Hand’ of God in Gevurah and it’s opposite Sefirot Chessed. They correspond in function to ‘Thy rod and thy staff’ in Psalm 23. When they are in balance, the World is in balance.
To return to an even earlier theme posted, I believe that which we name ‘God’ is both transcendent and immanent. The Star of David perfectly illustrates this.
Finally, as to Hanukkah, the Historical events of the slaughter of the Hellenized compatriots are represented by the lower triangle, the spirit of Hanukkah and the story of the oil by the upper. Our task is to constantly reach upward toward the Divine essence, by which we become open to its interpenetrating essence. When we do this, I like to believe, we bring it all into a resounding harmony, that events no longer are made up by massive cruelty, deprivation, despair and death.
May the inspiring lights of the Hanukkah candles give you light all year.
If Hanukkah was an attack on Hellenized Jews, then why do parts of (Greco-Roman) Southern Italy have menorahs inscribed in their walls? Was it about a hellenized group further east?
A dear friend who is a rabbi and conducted our wedding told my wife and me about some parents that approached her about a bar mitzvah for their son. "We want him to have the experience, but we don't want him indoctrinated with all this stuff about God. We had enough of that in Hebrew school ourselves."
She asked calmly, "So, you want me to teach him that Judaism is an empty ritual the same as you learned it was?" And not realizing the irony, they agreed.
Thank you, Rabbi, for insisting that while there are plenty of kid-friendly activities in Jewish life, it's a tradition for grown-ups! Wrestling with the complexities is a very Jewish thing to do.
I love this so much. A few year ago, a friend said he felt a bit odd for celebrating for the reasons you struggled with. I had to let this be a time to remember not persecuting others as we were persecuted. A celebration as well as a reminder. I've almost always felt what you call an "adult faith" to have a place in Judaism.
This is actually helping me put together something from my childhood. Raised Catholic, so this time of year was always Advent for me, prepping for Christmas, etc. But this idea of "rededication" resonates a lot with me, especially right now in the middle of a few life changes. Taking in complicated history with an effort for redefinition really is the spirit of the celebration.
Thank you for this! Hannukah is deeply entrenched in my childhood, and I went through a period of "betrayed because it's ~really~ celebrating historical events that were violent" and also "confused because Hannukah is a minor holiday and am I ~appropriating~ because I haven't always been super Jewish" and it's complicated and thorny and there's no One Right Answer
(kind of like, er, life? and faith in general...)
But lighting Hannukah candles, and watching them, feels important, not because of history but because it's a reminder to myself to ... well, rededicate myself, in a way? And a reason to slow down.
Yes!! I love this. I've been trying to figure out how to coalesce my thoughts into a single simple comment and I can't do it - oy. I'll break it down into two one on adult faith and a separate on two-mindedness (on another aspect of Khanukkah the "minor" holiday vs "major" debate). Thanks for bearing with me.
So - adult faith and reckoning with the brutality of the real history of the Maccabees and their atrocities. I was delighted to read this on Monday after my Sunday Xanike party where I gave all my guests homework a week ahead of time and we leaned into a more in-depth discussion of the complicated history and the adult themes of Chanuqa. I decided that this year - instead of a papered over "for kids" or "empty ritual" (hat tip to Dennis ;) ) celebration we were going to get serious about the real themes of Hanukkah. Because it isn't about love and light - it's certainly not about peace or goodwill - it's about resistance. So that was our theme this year. I didn't frame it in terms of adult vs kids versions, but that's what we did. And it's been the most fulfilling season of Cchannukkahh I've had so far in my life. Because while it's not about empty love, light themes - doesn't mean it's not about hope. Because resistance *is* hope. It's the belief that the world can be better than it is and the willingness to fight for that better world.
For context - I was the only Jew in attendance so while we didn't paper over or ignore the atrocities committed by the Maccabees - we didn't engage too deeply into the details of that more intra-communal discussion that the articles Rabbi mentioned at the beginning dig into, because that's not the crowd for that. But we did talk about how the Maccabees weren't that great once we took power and how we need to reckon with the ways in which a lot of resistance stories in both history and fiction don't always get it right - that sometimes our fights against oppression, tyranny, erasure etc don't always result in making things better for everyone - yeah - we get it wrong - a lot actually. But - and I was so pleased that my guests went here without me (before I could - but yeah same page) - everytime we still move a little closer to a better world. And that's why resistance and resistance stories in fiction persist, abide, continue to matter. We march forward understanding that we won't get it right in our own lifetimes, but that we have to keep trying. "You are not obligated to complete the work - but neither are you free to abandon it" - Pirkei Avot.
Though the only Jewish person at the celebration - most of my loved ones attending have deeply relevant lived experiences of resistance to oppression, tyranny and those for whom it's not personal deeply love the rest of us and stand with us in our fight. It's a big intersectional group so it was deeply relevant especially now (in the last 5-10 years in America) for my guests who come at the subject from many axes of oppression to talk about our resistance stories. We talked about what things could be the miracle oil we need to fuel our resistance in the coming months/year and to allow us to rededicate ourselves to resistance and the fight for a better world. We talked about community care as this fuel - rest as resistance. One of my guests made this amazing point about community care that's so worth sharing - they talked about how a part of community care is praising people behind their backs, and how we need to do more of that. And fuck yeah we do.
Anyway - adult Honk was amazing and I am so glad we did it this year and that my loved ones leaned into it and made it relevant to all of us. So fulfilling and meaningful. My only regrets are that I didn't delegate the latke making well enough so I spent most of the night in the kitchen, but next year we'll fix that. :)
All my love, and a very very happy Xanuqa (yes- I'm on team chaos in terms of spelling - try to make sure I just don't spell it the same way twice lol) to all of you with thanks for indulging my long-winded ramblings. :) (part two - on the two-mindedness of the Minor vs major holiday debate to come after some rest).
And I thought it was just us Christians who struggle with growing up in our faith! Ha! I will use your article in my adult Bible study class as an example of our “two-mindedness.” Great writing!!
Thank you for this. I've been reading "Luminous Darkness" by Deborah Eden Tull, in which she talks about the power and beauty of darkness, not just light. She's commenting in a Buddhist context, but I think she has Jewish heritage as well. Your missive feels connected to that book; we can hold difficult facts and confusing experiences *at the same time* as the direct, clear, or more enjoyable ones. We can appreciate the darkest time of year (at least in the Northern Hemisphere) for its rest and renewal, while we find joy and strength in lighting Hanukkah candles. I think holding unsavory history next to a (more) jubilant present is perhaps the most tricky both-and truth, as we have no way to go back and change what happened. But, like you say, we can use it as an opportunity to recommit, reaffirm and rededicate to our best values.
Well this is illuminating. We Christians have it easy. All of our monumental ugliness takes place outside of our scripture. So we can sit safely in our New Testament and never have to confront the persecution, genocide and holocaust.
Love this article and was tracking very much with your relationship with Hanukah in your journey from childhood to adult faith but applying it to my own journey with the Advent story leading up to Christmas. There are alot of quaint things in my childhood scaffolding in the Advent story that I no longer believe (as literal history) but I love Advent. My rational brain sits in church and can’t believe people sitting around me take all the familiar parts of the story literally but I appreciate and enter into the perennial themes of longing/watching for the light and the honoring of a divine child which somehow still resonates deep within even though I no longer believe in the virgin birth and all the related parts of the story (as literal history) which pretty much everyone sitting in the church I attend still holds to. It is sort of funny having conversations with people who have not allowed their brains to entertain such thoughts. In a strange way during Advent, I feel both my childhood and adult faith in the same two-mindedness you describe—thank you for writing this! Glad I found your substack!
Dear Rabbi Ruttenberg, Thank you for the work that you do. I enjoyed this article very much. As a person who has benefitted from the generosity of people who have contributed to allow less financially fortunate to receive, I appreciate their generosity. AND I appreciate your hard work in providing these articles to ALL, including those who might misuse that generosity and hard work. For those of us who have integrity, ethics, and morals, it is hard to set aside the feelings associated with those values when it SEEMS that we might be lumped together with the group who abuse their privilege. May your work for justice, advocacy on all issues that make the world a better place continue and be successful. Edna F.Riley, Nevada, MO
Thank you , Rabbi. I’ve quite comfortable with my two-mindedness. Now I have new thing to consider.
I love this. All of us of different faiths can share that thought.
Brilliant! Thank you. Much for theologians of every stripe to consider.
Thank you Rabbi Danya, 🙏 Adult faith so needed & necessary to be sure for some of all faiths. Blessings & light to you
These posts are so deep that it takes much thought to comment. The matters raised challenges us to deeper thoughts. To fall back a bit, the last post, Rilke poem, made me think of his word ‘terror’ of ‘God in the shadows’ and ‘temporary’. Rilke writes beautifully of sublime emotion but these terms are larger than that.
This brought to mind the thought of Kabbalah, the ‘Left Hand’ of God in Gevurah and it’s opposite Sefirot Chessed. They correspond in function to ‘Thy rod and thy staff’ in Psalm 23. When they are in balance, the World is in balance.
To return to an even earlier theme posted, I believe that which we name ‘God’ is both transcendent and immanent. The Star of David perfectly illustrates this.
Finally, as to Hanukkah, the Historical events of the slaughter of the Hellenized compatriots are represented by the lower triangle, the spirit of Hanukkah and the story of the oil by the upper. Our task is to constantly reach upward toward the Divine essence, by which we become open to its interpenetrating essence. When we do this, I like to believe, we bring it all into a resounding harmony, that events no longer are made up by massive cruelty, deprivation, despair and death.
May the inspiring lights of the Hanukkah candles give you light all year.
If Hanukkah was an attack on Hellenized Jews, then why do parts of (Greco-Roman) Southern Italy have menorahs inscribed in their walls? Was it about a hellenized group further east?
https://www.facebook.com/SikeliabySusannaValpreda/posts/the-jews-in-byzantine-sicily-literary-evidence-and-archaeological-findingstransl/1675686299230400/
https://myjewishitaly.it/listing/the-gate-of-the-jews/?lang=en