I have never understood how the story of Onan has anything whatsoever to do with masturbation. Isn‘t it about him failing in his duties in a Levirate Marriage? Or about being deceitful to his wife? How do they make that leap?
Unfortunately, this is not really about Jewish sexuality as practiced or experienced, only about what some readings can support. Certainly this is NOT the picture of "Jewish sexual ethics" one gets from those self-described as most observant and most Jewish--most of whom, in particular, are dangerously ignorant about their own bodies.
How do people from such Orthodox backgrounds respond to your teachings?
> NO DRUNK SEX! CONSENT! BE PRESENT! THIS IS IN THE TALMUD, PEOPLE
A friend of mine used to give the "sexual consent talk" to students at a NYC-area college. This was the point that upset the students *most*, male and female. Saying that they couldn't have drunk sex was, to them, the same as saying they couldn't have sex at all, they basically accused her of being a dictatorial, hypocritical Puritan. (than which nothing could have been more wrong) This was about 15 years ago, I *hope* things have changed but I'm not going to bet on it ...
I have benefitted from your wonderful writings for a couple of years now and so you know how I mentioned way back when that I bought your *Passionate Torah* book? I just started reading it. Bahaha. I'm such a slow consumer of books, but I do seem to enjoy collecting them. 🤭 Regardless, benefiting from your shared wisdom through this platform has made it very accessible, and since I practically never (only one time or two) ever got to visit temple, felt welcome, that it was the right place for me despite my heritage, yadda yadda, this has continued to be temple on the topics I've needed. God knows, and provides. Thank you, so so much. 🥰
As I am sure Rabbi Ruttenberg knows, certain aspects of her discussion are much more thoroughly discussed by Daniel Boyarin in his academic work, "Carnal Israel--Reading Sex in Talmudic Culture." I would highly recommend the book to those who want to better understand the Talmud's take on sexuality.
Humor is such an important part of life, and Jewish humor was part of my life long before I joined the Jewish people. On that note: I couldn't help dreaming up some midrash regarding Rav, the wife of Rav, and Rav Cahana. Since women are routinely left out of Torah and commentary, how do we know that Rav Cahana's wife wasn't under the bed with him? I imagine her reaction, "Didn't we agree to keep quiet." And if Rav Cahana doesn't have a wife, it's not hard to imagine Rav's wife has a Sota test in her future. Indeed, if Rav Cahana hadn't been in the study hall that day, Rav might think, how long has Rav Cahana been under the bed, etc. Of course students never sleep with their teachers or their teacher's spouses. And now for some Jewish humor from Moment Magazine https://momentmag.com/jokes/
Rabbi, Your writings are always so thought provoking! The only book I have previously read on Kosher Sex - I think that was the title was by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. I ordered two of your books today based on today's post. I look forward to more of your wisdom in those books. It is always a blessing to find an email from you alerting us to a new post. Thank you for the difference you make in the world. You are a gifted writer, teacher and inspiring blessing to all who read your posts. Thank you!
some notes Jewish sexual ethics
I read the subtitle and liked the post immediately 🤣
I have never understood how the story of Onan has anything whatsoever to do with masturbation. Isn‘t it about him failing in his duties in a Levirate Marriage? Or about being deceitful to his wife? How do they make that leap?
What a wonderful piece! I’m working on some pleasure curricula and will be citing this 🤠
Unfortunately, this is not really about Jewish sexuality as practiced or experienced, only about what some readings can support. Certainly this is NOT the picture of "Jewish sexual ethics" one gets from those self-described as most observant and most Jewish--most of whom, in particular, are dangerously ignorant about their own bodies.
How do people from such Orthodox backgrounds respond to your teachings?
> NO DRUNK SEX! CONSENT! BE PRESENT! THIS IS IN THE TALMUD, PEOPLE
A friend of mine used to give the "sexual consent talk" to students at a NYC-area college. This was the point that upset the students *most*, male and female. Saying that they couldn't have drunk sex was, to them, the same as saying they couldn't have sex at all, they basically accused her of being a dictatorial, hypocritical Puritan. (than which nothing could have been more wrong) This was about 15 years ago, I *hope* things have changed but I'm not going to bet on it ...
I have benefitted from your wonderful writings for a couple of years now and so you know how I mentioned way back when that I bought your *Passionate Torah* book? I just started reading it. Bahaha. I'm such a slow consumer of books, but I do seem to enjoy collecting them. 🤭 Regardless, benefiting from your shared wisdom through this platform has made it very accessible, and since I practically never (only one time or two) ever got to visit temple, felt welcome, that it was the right place for me despite my heritage, yadda yadda, this has continued to be temple on the topics I've needed. God knows, and provides. Thank you, so so much. 🥰
As I am sure Rabbi Ruttenberg knows, certain aspects of her discussion are much more thoroughly discussed by Daniel Boyarin in his academic work, "Carnal Israel--Reading Sex in Talmudic Culture." I would highly recommend the book to those who want to better understand the Talmud's take on sexuality.
Humor is such an important part of life, and Jewish humor was part of my life long before I joined the Jewish people. On that note: I couldn't help dreaming up some midrash regarding Rav, the wife of Rav, and Rav Cahana. Since women are routinely left out of Torah and commentary, how do we know that Rav Cahana's wife wasn't under the bed with him? I imagine her reaction, "Didn't we agree to keep quiet." And if Rav Cahana doesn't have a wife, it's not hard to imagine Rav's wife has a Sota test in her future. Indeed, if Rav Cahana hadn't been in the study hall that day, Rav might think, how long has Rav Cahana been under the bed, etc. Of course students never sleep with their teachers or their teacher's spouses. And now for some Jewish humor from Moment Magazine https://momentmag.com/jokes/
Rabbi, Your writings are always so thought provoking! The only book I have previously read on Kosher Sex - I think that was the title was by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. I ordered two of your books today based on today's post. I look forward to more of your wisdom in those books. It is always a blessing to find an email from you alerting us to a new post. Thank you for the difference you make in the world. You are a gifted writer, teacher and inspiring blessing to all who read your posts. Thank you!